yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
