the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
