the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
