Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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