That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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