why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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