careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
