Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
