I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just forgot I was standing up.
Sorry about my life...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
