Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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