It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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