I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Randomize
