they need to just BURY HIM!
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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