You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
