Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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