Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize