Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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