i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
