It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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