Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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