I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
