i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
