I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize