the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
