At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
