And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
