In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Actions speak louder than pants.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
