Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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