your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
