dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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