I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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