I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
