How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
