you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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