Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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