So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
What drink are we having for lunch?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
