Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
is wine microwaveable?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize