Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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