its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
