whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
