No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
