My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
