If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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