I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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