can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
