i don't like sucking hair
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
