Sponge bath it is.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
