Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
