Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
