I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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