You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
