She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
