if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Less talking, more tequila
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize