i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
