Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
