He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
