He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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