He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
