Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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