And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
