he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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