What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
