Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
whose parrot is this?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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