It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
