physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize