finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
