so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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