Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
