I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
