TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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