btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize