We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
