We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
